Nearly there...

I had chemotherapy yesterday. And I actually can't believe I'm writing this but... I've only got one left! I never thought I'd see this day, it always seemed such a long way into the distance. But it really is in sight. And I'm finally beginning to allow myself to genuinely look forward to the future. A healthy future. Trust me, it will be healthy. I think having a life threatening disease allows you to realise how easy it is to make small adjustments to your life to make it healthier. A good diet, fitness, and general well being is actually so achievable but people (including myself) often see them as a hassle. But after 5 or 6 months of doing very little exercise I miss it so much. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly a fitness freak before! But I'd do the odd bit in the gym and go to trampolining when I wasn't feeling too lazy. And ofcourse I walked the 10 minute journey to and from uni several times a day. Being less mobile now has made me realise how far a bit of exercise goes in making you feel better inside and out.

I saw a lung doctor yesterday, following a series of tests. He thinks I've got asthma (not sure if this is a result of chemo or not?) which is treatable but explains my ongoing breathlessness. Hopefully getting that sorted will encourage me to do more exercise without worrying about getting puffed out or fainting (a story for another time...).

So the general mood of this post is for me a motivational one to push myself to get fitter and be healthier. But I hope it helps people reading this too! If you have low energy levels chances are you aren't eating healthily and you aren't getting enough exercise. Do something about it with me!!

Breaking out..

Ha ha just kidding I didn't actually break out of hospital. However I did get out just in the nick of time - the morning of Christopher's birthday (Thursday). I know the question on all of your minds. What was my neutrophil level that morning, with it having been 1.5 the previous one. Well, ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourself for a shock. On the morning of Thursday the 24th of August my bloods were taken and I had an astonishing '14.2' count for neutrophils. The norm is between 2 and 8 (roughly). So I managed to go from being neutropenic to neutrophilic in 24 hours. Ridiculous. But it allowed me to go home and spend the day and evening with Christopher celebrating his birthday. We went out for a wonderful dinner and generally had a lovely day, I am just so lucky to have had the opportunity to do so after all the drama of the past week.

This picture was taken just before going to Christopher's birthday party at a bar called PING in Earls Court in London. You can take the girl out of the party but you can't take the party out of the girl......

It's a miracle!!

Following the change to the more specific antibiotic mentioned in my last post, my temperature spiked again and my neutrophil level dropped to an undetectable level. Not good. But having been put back on the previous antibiotic again here is my update...

So it is now Wednesday morning and I've been stuck here in the hospital for a whole week. But I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel due to the miracle that occurred overnight. As I mentioned in my last post, the doctor said my neutrophils must be over 1 in order for me to leave the hospital. Yesterday they were 0.2 so I was not feeling hopeful. However last night I could feel it in my bones that something great was happening. No seriously. My hips and long bones in my legs get achey following a few days of the neutrophil booster jab and last night was particularly bad. This is because my bone marrow had kicked into action to produce tons of White Blood Cells and an INCREDIBLE increase in neutrophils. This mornings blood test read 1.5 for neutrophils!!! Unfortunately I still have to stay an extra 24 hours due to a change in antibiotics, from one which needed to be administered 3 times a day i.v. to one which only needs to be administered once a day i.v. This needs monitoring for 24 hours to ensure I don't spike a temperature. And if that happens I can go home and celebrate Christopher's birthday with him. I am stupidly excited although I must try not to get ahead of myself. I think all of the above made sense but sometimes I forget that all this neutrophil malarky is not general knowledge. So someone do let me know if it isn't clear at all!

2 steps forward, 1 step back

Let me just apologise in advanced for the layout, grammar and punctuation of this post. It's being written from a hospital bed on my iPhone which is not easy!

Where do I start? It is now midday on a Sunday. I've been here in this room almost constantly since 8am on Thursday morning. Chemo on Tuesday was long but relatively smooth. The picc line was a blessing, avoiding both the pain and needles I usually experience. But on Wednesday afternoon I spiked a temperature of 39.4 and knew that I would probably be making my way back into hospital very shortly. Over night we controlled my temperature with paracetamol and the next morning I was in hospital bright and early. At first I was given an IV antibiotic (through my picc line of course) which would cover a wide spectrum of bacterial infections. My temperature began to steady out and has been fine since. But my neutrophil and general white blood cell levels in my blood have not had such an easy journey. On Thursday there was no neutrophils showing and a low level of white blood cells, about 0.4. By yesterday my neutrophils were up to 0.7 (once they are above 1 I'm considered safe and no longer neutropenic). So I was hopeful that today I'd be going home! But a blood test this morning showed that the neutrophil level had dropped and again were not detected. So back to square one it seems.

Yesterday the blood cultures from a few days ago identified the infection as a coag negative staph infection, one which is common with picc lines. So I'm now on a more specific antibiotics for the next week along with neutrophil booster injections daily. Fingers crossed they do the job!

Sorry it's not an overly interesting or upbeat update from me today. Lets just hope I'm out of this place in the next couple of days and back to normality, until my next chemo of course. Oh and needless to say I have missed the Edinburgh fringe festival which myself and my family were so looking forward to attending this weekend.. There's always next year eh?

The Home Run

It's been a busy week, filled with some fun and some... not so fun. I had the picc line put in last Tuesday. And I was VERY brave even if I say so myself. It isn't a painful procedure at all but was just slightly uncomfortable for about 24 hours and is still a little bruised. But my god was it worth it! It's amazing how much less stressful chemoclub is (for everyone involved) when there's no needles. The blood sample was taken from the line, so no blood test needle, and obviously no cannula (wahooooo).

Okay, let me just set the scene for last Wednesday. So we arrived at about 10am, and by 2pm the last of the drugs has finished and the line is being flushed. Record Time of 4hrs. Impressive stuff. Mum and Christopher are excited. I decide to go for a quick wee. Wee done, toilet flushed, hands washed, walking back to the bed, and all of a sudden I become aware of how breathless and sweaty I am. I reach my hospital bed just in time as the room starts going a bit speckled (the weird sensation before fainting) and luckily I manage to regain composure. The nurses come in and I'm given oxygen and the doctor is called. 4 hours, a chest x-ray, some antibiotics and a lot of oxygen later.. we got home. Sorry Mum and Christopher!

So, enough drama, basically one of two things had happened. Either the bleomycin, one of the chemotherapy drugs, had caused some damage to my lungs (not uncommon) or I'd got a chest infection. Being myself, I was convinced that I was absolutely fine and convinced the doctor to let me go home with some precautionary antibiotics. End of story. No, just kidding, not the end at all. The antibiotics didn't agree with my tummy the next day so I called the doctor, told him I was feeling much better and he reluctantly said I could stop taking the antibiotics. Cue breathlessness and temperature. The next morning I was whisked back into hospital. I had a CT scan which came up clear but nonetheless was given antibiotics IV (intra-venously) and had a consultation with a specialist lung doctor who suspected the bleomycin had caused slight damage to my lungs as well as the temperature I had spiked. Much to my dismay the hospital still kept me in overnight, but it wasn't too bad as Christopher kindly stayed over with me on a little camp bed and we had a nice evening watching '8 out of 10 cats countdown'. I had a lung function test yesterday to further test my lungs so will hopefully find out soon if I need some steroids which should apparently help repair my lungs (not quite sure how..).

That's the bad part of my week. Other than that I've had fun too! I've watched A LOT of films (Matilda, Contraband, Cinderella Story, Whats Your Number, What Women Want) and went to the cinema to see 'The Heat 'which is absolutely hilarious and had me almost wetting myself laughing. I've also baked some more cupcakes although I don't know why as I never actually eat them. And tomorrow me and my family are travelling down to somerset for a long weekend away. (I'm not allowed to go abroad so somerset will suffice!).

Hair update: I have very little hair left. My once thick black eyelashes are now relatively sparse and brown, and my eyebrows are also sparse. But that's what make up is for. The hair on my head is still very evenly spread but there is very visible scalp between strands. I've gone for a grade 1.5 trim to make it look less fluffy and neater.

But the good news is.... 5 weeks today I will be having my FINAL EVER CHEMO. I'm on the home run!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also my puppy is ridiculously cute.

Mini-break in the country

Christopher and I headed up to Cambridge last weekend (this is now a couple of weekends ago as I forgot to click post) to celebrate his mum, Jo's, birthday.

I must say, having weekends away and being busy is such a nice distraction from the boredom and unhappiness that can come with chemo. On Jo's birthday we did lots of baking (because we are cool) for the garden party we were going to the following day. I wish I'd taken some pictures of what we made but I completely forgot so you'll just have to use your imagination I'm afraid.

That evening we went to see Monsters University which is a GREAT film and I'd encourage everyone to go and see it. 

On the Sunday Christopher's nan joined us and we headed to the garden party. It was lovely meeting everyone and I was made to feel very welcome, but by 5pm my batteries ran out and we had to head back. Obviously I am not actually battery run but its quite a helpful way to describe my energy levels. As C once said - going out with me is like going out with your phone on 20% battery. Works perfectly, as normal, but runs out quicker and once it's gone... it's gone.