Stephen's Story

I would like to dedicate this post to a young man who is 1000x times braver than I ever was and has achieved an incredible amount over the course of his illness. I'm sure many of you have heard about Stephen, as he has attracted a lot of media attention over the past few weeks, but for those of you who haven't, take a look at his just giving page and dig deep! (link below)

https://www.justgiving.com/stephen-sutton-tct

I can't even imagine how this kid has been battling cancer for 3 years, as I found 6 months of chemo quite enough. The positivity he exuberates is unbelievable and has put a lot in perspective for me and no doubt for many thousands of others as well. So far he has raised over 2.5million pounds for teenage cancer trust by telling his story, and in doing so has broken the justgiving record. Amazing!

stephensstory.co.uk

The final push

Exam season is upon us and the pre-exam panic has set in. 4 exams in 11 days, with my birthday sandwiched right in the middle is not ideal, however I am going to make the best of a bad situation. I've always been one of those people who doesn't handle exams well and have always under performed as a result. I'll ask myself questions like 'will I forget everything' or 'what if I don't pass'. But I've been learning to check myself when those thoughts creep up on me. At the end of the day... So what?? I'll do my absolute best, and that's all I can do. And regardless of my results I still have 90 days in South America to look forward to!

P.s. I've realised I forgot to write a post a few weeks ago following my most recent pet-ct scan. It was clear!! The utter relief I felt was overwhelming. Finally an exam period devoid of illness and the doors to travelling completely open. Hurrah!

Work hard, play hard.

6 months on, and I think it's fair to say that I'm more than making up for lost time. I've moved back to Birmingham and am spending my days in the library and some of my evenings in a variety of bars, pubs and clubs. My short hair is finally looking intentional and getting much more positive comments than my long curly hair ever did! I'm feeling so much happier now that I have exams to work towards and travelling to look forward to. I no longer feel defined by the fact that I had cancer - if anything it feels more like a blip in my life.  

Spreading my wings..

I've been dreaming about it for over a year, perhaps even longer, and finally I've taken the plunge (or at least my bank balance has) and booked flights to South America this summer. And yes, I am going to bore you with the details. I'll be jetting off in June (after completing my final year exams) and returning, hopefully intact, 3 glorious months later.

I'm meeting my gorgeous friend Aya out there and together we will be exploring Colombia, Ecuador, the Galapagos Islands, Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Easter Island and Argentina. Obviously Brazil is very high up on my bucket list of places to go but with the World Cup there this summer the prices will be sky high so that will have to wait.

This trip will be one of the most spontaneous and unplanned things I have ever done and I am 99% certain that I will return home with an extremely bad case of the travel bug (definition: the urge to travel). If I hadn't fallen ill over the past year I had planned to do a big 6+ months travelling around the world, and I am so happy that I still have the opportunity to explore somewhere completely alien to me.

Now all I need to do is learn Spanish...

p.s. many months ago one of my blog posts included a picture of my lovely friend Shel at Machu Picchu (having completed the strenuous inca trail) holding up a piece of paper saying 'fuck you cancer'. When she sent me that picture I hoped that I would one day be able to do the same trail and post a similar picture... AND I WILL!!!!

2014... update!

The lack of activity on my blog is not a bad sign - I assure you! I have finally got to the point where I am so busy that I forget about posting on here, which I must say I am bloody thrilled about (that sounded sarcastic but it really wasn't). Life has started ticking over again and I am so looking forward to the future. I've recently got some part-time data assistant work in Birmingham, so I am splitting my time between Birmingham and London, which is keeping me busy. I've also started revising for exams in May, and began making my plans for travelling to South America this summer. It is all feeling very exciting indeed. I had another clear scan a few weeks ago. The anxiety that comes with having PET/CT scans doesn't seem to go away once the cancer has gone. But I think deep down I knew that it would be clear because I was feeling so healthy and energetic in myself.

My hair is growing back, fast. I would say that every week there is now a noticeable difference in length which is exciting but also worrying as it is getting to that awkward 'should I be styling it now or can I pull this unkept boy-hair off?' length. The answer is almost certainly the former, but I am too lazy to do anything about it yet. Turns out there is more to life than hair. 

I've posted a few pictures below to indicate roughly how long it was in South Africa and at new year, but we are now nearing the end of january and it has grown another centimetre if not more! next step... fringe!

Life after cancer

I must apologise for the lack of activity on my blog lately. It is easy for me to think that the end of my cancer means the end of this blog but I don't think my story is over yet. Life after cancer is different to life before cancer. Interpretation of the word 'different' is a funny one. People may assume it means worse, but actually this isn't the case at all. I don't think that it is worse or better. Perhaps there are aspects which are better, and aspects which are worse, and overall they balance out. For example, I think I have matured a lot and been forced to have a more positive outlook on life. But at the same time my illness has left me scarred on the outside (short hair.. for now, and several scars from surgery etc). 

Anyway, here I am 3 months after my last chemotherapy in the beautiful city of Cape Town in South Africa. This holiday is very significant to me as it feels like a real stepping stone towards regaining normality. Normality is another funny word. I'm not sure exactly what 'normality' will be for me in the future But my hair is growing and with that my confidence is too. Christopher was out here with me for the first 2 weeks of the trip and we enjoyed experiencing Cape Town together. Since then I have been spending lots of quality time with my cousins and my aunt and uncle (with whom I am staying) and getting into a bit of a routine of running, swimming, reading, studying (loosely) and relaxing. I could get used to this...

I am really looking forward to spending Christmas day in the sun. I've never had a sunny Christmas before but there is definitely something about sunshine which makes me feel healthier. The short cold days in England are most unappealing to me at the moment. I will upload some pictures in the next few days to make those of you in the UK extremely jealous. Sorry in advance!!